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About Me

If you want to know more about my past, read my profile.

Others Around Me

Babette Delacour
Charlie Weasley
Randall Worthington
Fleur Delacour
Nymphadora Tonks
Gabrielle Delacour
Fred Weasley
Aveline Rousseau
George Weasley
Cho Chang
Remus Lupin
Bill Weasley

The Layout

This layout was created at Premade Ljs. The header image and colors were created by Sara.

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test [February 05, 2012 @ 9:44am]

The Forbidden Forest - 8/1/2002 [August 01, 2007 @ 11:42pm]
[ mood | sated ]

Things had been almost surreal since I arrived at Hogwarts and reclaimed both my job, and Remus Lupin. Babette, I was sure, was not searching for me, and if Fenrir was...well, he was unsuccessful. I felt safe in the castle, much more safe than I ever felt living with Babette in France, and then at Faerie Ridge. I wasn't foolish enough to allow myself to say I was completely happy. I had lived my life since I was sixteen wondering when the next blow would come, when the next misery would be thrust upon me. And even though I was enjoying my time with Remus inside of Hogwarts, it was difficult to pull myself from that state of mind so easily.

The castle was eerie at night but yet ethereal at the same time. There was silence, but for the chatter of the paintings and the ghosts who still roamed its walls during this time of year. I was amazed at the amount of respect and authority Remus silently demanded from the inhabitants, and it seemed to come very naturally to him.

It was the Forbidden Forest that captured my attention night after night. I would gaze out over the treetops from my window when the sun would set, listening to the rustle of leaves. It called to me, the unquestioned mystery of it all and I wondered how often Remus roamed the forest at night, when he was alone and able.

"I don't go into the Forbidden Forest often," he admitted one night after dinner. "There's simply too much to do, and it would not set a good example for the students if they were to see their Professor wandering about where they've been strictly forbidden."

It seemed like a decent enough excuse, but I was still curious. And so I left Remus a note atop of his pillow and changed my clothing before I left the castle, walking slowly toward the forest's edge in my bare feet. The grass beneath my toes was soft, yet cool and I sighed, closing my eyes as the summer night danced around me, calming me from the events of the past few months. It didn't take long to lose myself, and I moved slowly until I found a clearing, deep into the heart of the forest.

I didn't have to wait long, as I heard him approaching mere minutes after I arrived. I stood behind a thicker tree trunk, waiting for him to step into the clearing. When he did, his eyes searching the darkness, I bit back a smile and stepped around the tree. His gaze snapped to mine, but he said nothing. I walked down the soft slope toward him, my white robes swaying around my ankles.

When I stand in front of him, he reaches out and brushes my hair back behind my shoulders. "I thought you were a ghost for a moment."

"Am I that pale?" I ask, voice full of mischief.

His eyes roam over my hair, my face and robes. "Everything about you is translucent."

"And everything about you is dark," I reply, lifting my hands to his robes. I unclasp them and pull them down, away from his body. I smile softly when I run my hands over his thin shirt, ragged from years of use.

"What are you doing out here?" he asks and I lift my gaze to his, arching an eyebrow even as I begin to unbutton his shirt. When I part it, I glide my fingertips over his chest, feeling the muscles quiver beneath my touch.

Laughing, I gaze at him demurely. "I'm bringing you back to nature."

"Is that right?"

I smile and step back from him, slowly apart my robes. They fall around my ankles, leaving me naked in the middle of the clearing. While it's still warm, the soft breeze chills me and I can feel my nipples tightening as I shiver. Remus stares at me, his hands clenching and at his sides. He takes a step toward me, even as I move to him and suddenly we're caught in a tight embrace, his mouth ravaging mine. He was an experienced lover, knowing when to be tender, and when to be demanding. I wanted him demanding now, desperate for me and as his calloused hands moved over my body, I gasped, knowing that tonight was full of promise.

I pop open the button of his trousers and kneel before him. The material slides down his hips and his erection is impressive, hot, and hard...velvet steel. I wrap my fingers around him and I lean forward, flicking my tongue and listening to his growl. I take him deep into my mouth then, no pretense, no teasing, and pleasure him with fervor.

"Celeste," he groans, his fingers fisting in my hair. I can practically feel the moon beating down upon me, and my blood burns with wanton, lustful desires. His taste is intoxicating, his scent earthy and powerful. I wrap my hands around his thighs, up to his buttocks, and he thrusts against me, hissing between his teeth as I suck him, my tongue swirling around his length. When his fingers tighten in my hair, I release him immediately and he pulls away from me. Before he can push me onto my back, I shove his trousers all the way down, pleased when he steps out of them, gloriously naked.

I stand, brushing my fingers through his hair before I kiss him again. His tongue plunders my mouth, his hands touching my breasts, my stomach and hips. He reaches between my legs and our moans are simultaneous when he finds me slick and ready for him. He breathes my name again and I pull from him, placing my lips upon his shoulders and chest.

"We should have come out here a long time ago," I tell him, stepping back from him. "It's where you belong."

"And you?"

"I've always been here, in my mind," I reply with a small smile. "I think I was just waiting for you, Remus."

His face is illuminated by the moonlight and while it's hard to read the expression in his eyes, he seems overpowering, strong and forceful in his stance. He's every bit a wolf, as he is a man. And his hands are rough and demanding as he grabs me, his mouth once more upon mine, claiming me. We cling together until I can feel my lips swollen under his kiss. Breathless, I push away from him again, kneeling to the ground. I take his hands and pull him down with me until we're face to face. He bends his head and his lips find my earlobe, my jaw, my neck. I sigh and arch against him, turning my neck so he has full access to my throat. He releases a shaky breath, but I feel his teeth against my flesh, nipping, biting softly as his thumbs fan over my nipples.

Turning my face, I place tiny kisses along his shoulder as I push against him, marveling at how natural it feels to have his body, hard and rough in all of the right places, pressed against my own. I hear the rustling of the trees again and it the night seems to mesmerize us. When Remus lifts his head, our eyes meet and I observe the dark lust clouding the orbs as he stares at me. Raking my nails down his chest slowly, I shift on my knees and turn in his arms.

I reach back, placing my palm on his side as I bend forward. He follows my body's motions and soon he mounts me from behind. One hand grips my hip, the other braces against the ground, next to me. I can see his fingers curling against the grass and then his teeth are at my shoulder, biting into the flesh as he pushes into me with one smooth stroke. I feel my back arch like a cats and my hair falls around my shoulders as I gasp. I move against him, rocking backward to meet every thrust.

This was right, being here with him, outside where the beast inside of him longed to roam. He took me fiercely, every plunge into my body hard and deep. I could hear his ragged breathing in my ear, his soft groans deep within his throat. His fingers pressed into my flesh, then loosened, and dug deep again as he shifted, finding a different angle to bring more exquisite pleasure upon the both of us.

"Yes!" I feel my orgasm ripple through me, heightened by Remus's movements, his hands running seductively over my back, his voice echoing throughout the trees as he shouts his own pleasure. Harder he moves, faster, until I can no longer hold back my own cries. We finally let go, giving into the passion and I wonder how many animals we've frightened away with the sounds of our lovemaking. Remus suddenly grabs my hips and begins to slam into me, taking my breath. I brace myself, my body accepting and welcoming every violent thrust.

"Come inside of me," I urge breathlessly, my body trembling as I find myself spiraling toward my own climax. "Make me yours."

"Celeste," he growls, his voice deep and hoarse. "Gods!"

Closing my eyes, I bite my lower lip hard enough to draw blood. As I feel him move more quickly, I smile and then scream as my orgasm explodes deep within me, flowing through me like lava. I scream his name again as he thrusts harder and then I feel him hold me tightly, his body tense as he groans, spilling his seed deep within me.

I sob for breath, collapsing onto my side when he pulls out of me. He rests next to me, his body half covering mine as he brushes my hair from my face. His lips fall to my mouth where I can still taste blood on my lower lip. He bends his head, his mouth covering mine and I close my eyes when I feel his tongue slide along my lip before his slips inside of my mouth. He kisses me passionately as I snake my leg around his thighs and pull him closer.

"Are you going to tell me I'm amazing?" I ask quietly with a smile when we break our kiss.

"You already know you are," he replies, his eyes tired. His chest still heaves from our exertions and I run my hands over him. "Why don't we go away for awhile?"

"Away?" I lift my head and look down at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Just a few days, wherever you want to go," Remus says. "Rome, France...anywhere."

"The castle--"

"Pomfrey can watch the castle for a couple of days. Term will be starting soon and we'll have no time until next summer to really be alone. If you want to stay here, we can."

"No, I think a holiday would be nice," I admit, not used to the idea of being able to pick up and leave whenever I pleased. "We'll go anywhere you want." He smiles, and when I shiver, he nuzzles my neck.

"We should go back. It's getting cold."

"In a minute," I murmur, closing my eyes as I rest against him. "Let's just lay here for a little while longer."

Remus says nothing, but holds me and we both lay there silently, content with listening to the night that surrounds us.

The Return [July 07, 2006 @ 10:58pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

I stare at Babette, struggling to clamp down on my anger as she paces my room. I hadn't wanted to stay at Faerie Ridge tonight, but Babette had insisted upon it after dinner and Pierre had come to me once more, slipping into my bed without invitation. But I was truthful when I told Babette what he informed me. It was months upon months ago that Pierre first came to me and ordered me to strip my clothes from my body. Babette had given him permission, or so he had said. And given the fact that she sends me off to different men without a whim, I had no reason to doubt him.

She wouldn't even believe me now if I told her my own sounds of pleasure tonight were forced, only sincere when I closed my eyes and thought of Remus. And it was somewhat of a relief, and more than satisfying when Babette walked into the room and flung Pierre against the wall. With any luck, she would maim him enough that he would never experience intimacy with a woman again. But her treatment of me...her irrational jealousy and anger, it was unacceptable considering my loyalty to her since I was sixteen.

"I've never done anything against you," I finally say. "I've done everything you've told me to since I was a child, Babette. I've let you use me as a bartering tool, as a weapon against your enemies and allies alike and because of him, you're going to do this?"

"And just how am I suppose to believe in your loyalty?" she spits, her blue eyes ablaze with fury. "You could have been betraying me for years and I was too oblivious to it. How long have you been sleeping with him?"

"I didn't know he was your--"

"How long?" she interrupts with a shout.

Sighing, I close my eyes. "Over a year."


My eyes snap open and narrow. "Probably so, but you raised me that way. If I had known how quickly you would turn against the people most loyal to you, I would have left you a long time ago."

Babette laughs cold and mirthlessly, tapping her wand against her palm as she stares down at me. "Is that so? And where would you have gone, darling? You have no family, no friends. A woman like you would have been eaten up by the world, abused and molested, left to die in a sewage drain somewhere."

"It couldn't be any worse than being here, could it?"

"You're an ungrateful, pathetic excuse for a woman," Babette replies icily. "I have done everything for you, treated you as one of my own daughters--"

My burst of laughter drowns out her words and I feel the tears fill my eyes. "Your own daughter? I have never formally even met your flesh and blood, or Rousseau. You keep me hidden away. You hit me when you please, you send me off to lie beneath disgusting, rutting men for your own gains. I highly doubt you would ever do that to your own daughters. Or maybe you would, only you would force them into a loveless marriage first."

Her palm hits my cheek with a resounding crack and I bite my lip painfully to keep from screaming at her. She hisses close to my ear as her hair tugs at my hair. "Do not ever speak of my daughters again. I was quite wrong about you and you are nothing but the wh*re I thought you to be."

"No, I'm nothing but the wh*re you raised me to be," I snap. "You will bind me to a man you know to be a monster simply because your lover betrayed you."

"He will be dealt with."

"Good." I force a smile to my lips. "I hope so. I hope you slice off every appendage he has. I feel no pity for him. He was dull, boring and mediocre in bed at best, wouldn't you agree? Perhaps you're simply punishing me because you can't stand the fact that the man who accepted into your bed wanted someone younger...and more pure."

The next slap splits my lip and I taste the metallic warm glide onto my tongue. I hear her call her one of her guards and suddenly my body is free of the magic binding and I relax against the sheets.

"Get dressed," she orders as two Ela guard enter the room. "Angelique and Fenrir will be here shortly."

Babette storms from the room and the door slams loudly before her. My muscles are sore from the spell but I push the sheets from my body and glare at the Ela before I grab my discarded clothing from the floor. They watch me dress and I run a brush through my hair quickly before tossing it back on the nearly empty vanity table. I make a move toward the door but the Ela step in front of it and glower at me.

"You're going to take orders from her?" I ask haughtily. "An impure half breed."

The Ela smiles at me, his lips curling over his teeth. "You did for fourteen years, didn't you?"

I nearly scowl but instead I smile and reach up to trace my fingers over his cheek. Ela are much stronger than normal men, physically and mentally, but in the end, they still have the same appendage that renders them weak and useless in the presence of a seductive female.

He maintains his defensive stance but I can feel the tiniest quiver from his body before I glance at his partner, still standing in front of the doorway and glaring at the both of us. Leaning in close, I lift up and whisper in his year, my lips brushing against the lobe.

"Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes."

The Ela's eyes flicker toward mine, curiosity and arousal evident.

"It's been a long time since I've had a," My hand slides down his chest, "real man."

"Henri," his partner snaps and I feel Henri's body tense under my own as he straightens quickly once more, trying to appear unaffected. I lick my lips and pull my hand away from him.

I walk toward the bathroom door and hear the Ela at the bedroom door bark at me. Rounding on him, I try my hardest not to set him on fire in my fury. "A lady is allowed to freshen up, is she not?" The Ela narrows his eyes, his lips sneering before I twirl on my heel and walk into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. As quietly then as I can, I pull out my wand and cast a silent locking charm on the door. The small circled window in the bathroom allows a bit of the moonlight to shine in and I stand carefully on the vanity stool and then up on the table before I open the window. It would be physically impossible for me to fit through on my own, so with a few quietly whispered spells, I enlarge it, holding my breath as I listen for the Ela. Sure enough one bangs on the door.

"In a moment!" I yell impatiently before I lift myself through the window. My room has always been away from the rest her daughters, on the servant level and I land easily on the soft grass below me. I return the small window to it's normal size and begin to run to the Apparition point around the side of the house. For a moment, standing in the dark, I don't know where to go. But after a moment's hesitation, I close my eyes and picture the castle before I flick my wand.

I arrive outside of Hogwarts within moments and soon I find myself walking down the path that will lead me to the gates of the school. My heartbeat slows to normal and I try not to reply the night's events in my mind, though I find it difficult not too. Babette's quick turn against me, over a man was shocking as I never imagined her a very s*xual being after her husband passed. Pierre was always there next to her, but I was oblivious to the relationship they shared. I didn't lie when I told her I would have never slept with him otherwise, and I knew it would have made no difference had I told her he more or less forced me to the first time, a year ago. Babette had made up her mind and condemned me, and I knew once she made a decision in her mind, there was no changing it. It amazed me that she could be so angry and threaten to bind me to Fenrir when she raised me to give myself to men. She used me for years as if it were my duty. But Pierre seemed to be different, and because of that, she threw fourteen years of loyalty away.

The gate seems to remember me, and it opens slightly, allowing me to slip through. I approach the castle and find Filch standing in the doorway, the lights from inside illuminating his crooked figure. I approach him calmly, stepping up the stairs until we're face to face.

"I need to speak with the Headmistress."

He studys me, his gnarled face suspicious for a moment before he jerks his head. "Follow me."

I walk with him through the castle and when we arrive at the entry way of McGonagall's office, Fich mutters "Marshmellow puff" and limps away. I walk up the stone stairs to her office and find her behind her desk, her pointed hat resting on a small table next to her as a quill scribbles away on a long piece of parchment.

"Ms. Bertrand, how lovely to see you again. I assume you are returning to inquire about your former position?"

Surprised, I stare at her for a moment. "How did you--"

She gives me a very small smile and motions to the chair. "Have a seat and we can discuss it."

I very nearly sit before I hear footsteps on the stairs and peering over my shoulder, my breath seizes when Remus enters the room, his eyes focused on me. We look at one another for what must be an eternity before McGonagall clears her throat and stands.

"The hour is quite late, Ms. Bertrand." Her voice draws my gaze back to hers. "Please feel free to stay overnight in your former room and if indeed you are interested in returning to the school, we can meet in the morning for tea and discuss it properly."

"Thank you, Professor."

She moves around the desk and walks past me, placing her hand reassuringly on Remus's arm before she disappears from the room, leaving the two of us in silence. Finally I turn toward him completely and try to smile but find it rather difficult considering the evening I have had. "You look well, Remus."

"Routine" June 26th NC-17 for Sexual Content [June 26, 2006 @ 5:39pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I left Remus without saying goodbye. I know he would probably resent me for it, maybe even hate me, but it was the best I could do in the position I found myself in. The truth was, I couldn't say goodbye to him. I knew if I went to him and tried, I would have not been able to leave, or explain why I was leaving well enough that he would understand.

I couldn't believe that I had nearly forgotten what my purpose was at Hogwarts in the first place. I was sent by Babette to watch over Gabrielle, and I did. But Gabrielle had finished school in June and it was now July and my time with the school was through. Babette's eyes were observant as she told me over our weekly tea.

"The reasoning for you being in that castle has long expired and I need you back at Faerie Ridge. I appreciate the time and energy you put into watching over my daughter, Celeste and I am sure you're more than ready to leave that dreadful place and never look back."

I couldn't tell her that I had enjoyed my position at Hogwarts, that I had come to admire a select few of my colleagues, and even tolerated the younger children better than I imagined I could. And then there was Remus. I didn't know what I felt for him, but it was different from anything I had felt before. I wanted to be near him, to see his face and touch him every day. I had grown used to being able to wake up with him before the sun rose and wrap myself around his body when it set. He matched me, physically and mentally and provided me with a sense of contentment that no other man had before.

But my loyalties were with Babette and surely it was better this way for me and for Remus. I knew nothing else and it was too frightening to imagine turning my back on her. She was capable of things, things so terrible that it was simply not an option to stay at Hogwarts without her permission.

And so I packed my things and left after resigning with McGonagall. I had told her I had a family emergency and would not be returning to which she seemed to understand, even if I wasn't sure she fully believed me. She gave me an open ended invitation to return although I think she sensed that she would probably never see me again.

I ran into Roger on my way out and said goodbye to him, not really caring at that point or not whether he still resented me. And Pierre, Babette's colleague and confidant, was waiting for me to take me home. My things were taken back to the small flat Babette provided for me and I was led to Faerie Ridge where Babette awaited me, a glass of wine in her hand and her eyes cool and appraising as I met her in the expansive sitting room.

"I'm glad to see you're back," Babette states. I sit across from her in the high backed chairs and accept the glass of wine Pierre hands me before Babette motions for him to leave. My fingers curl around the base of the glass and I sit quietly, knowing I'm not to speak unless prompted to do so. "I do apologize for the neglect, Celeste. I should have beckoned you home earlier."

"It's all right," I reply quietly. "I'm glad I was able to help. How is Gabrielle?"

Babette flinches but regains her composure quickly as she turns to stare at some invisible object in the room. "My concerns are no longer with my daughter. She has made her choice and part of that choice was to disobey, betray and cut me from her life. She and Fleur have been so disappointing to me." The red wine touches her lips and she savors the taste before turning her gaze to mine. "Even Aveline has begun to defy me. I always knew my daughters may pull away from me, but they have done so in ways that aer hard to accept. It is as if they have no concern for my emotions, as if they have forgotten everything I've done for them over the years."

I glance down at her knuckles, now white and gripping the wine glass so tightly I am sure it will shatter around her fingers. Yet, I say nothing, knowing better than to offer my opinion on her current situations with her daughters. It wasn't my place and the only thing I would receive in return would be a harsh tongue lashing, or a slap across the face.

I take a tentative sip of my wine to waet my throat as Babette sighs and crosses her slim legs.

"It's of no matter, Celeste. What is done is done and I will deal with them in the proper manner."

Nodding, I rub my finger across the top of the glass as I say what is expected of me. "I have no doubt of that, Babette. You have done so much for them, ever since they were children, and they simply don't appreciate you. It's shameful."

Babette purses her lips together tightly with a brisk nod of agreement. She takes another long drink from her wine before she leans over to set it on the marble table. "I only wish my daughters could be more like you, darling. You are everything a Veela should be and your unflinching loyalty will be greatly rewarded."

I wasn't sure what kind of reward I would be given this time and frankly I was past caring. I was showered with generous gifts, clothing, shoes, jewels. Babette saw me as a Veela, a woman with materialistic desires and dreams. I couldn't fault her, that was the role I was meant to play and have played since I was a young girl. I was raised to be her bartering tool against the male leaders of the clans, to bend them to my will and thus Babette's. Alexander Coza was the first man she gave me too when I as sixteen, ignoring the Veela rites of a Veela maintaining her virginity until her vows were complete. I may have been a pure Veela by blood, but in Babette's eyes, I was the body she needed to seduce her enemies and colleagues.

Daft wizards who opened up and spilled every secret to me after I've left them sated and drained in their bed, powerful clan leaders who despised Babette, but would be willing to bend to her whims as long as it meant keeping me in their bed for another night. Married men who begged me to run away with them after a simple, passionate kiss and men who found pleasure in beating me and bruising my body as they took me. It became all too easy for me and soon I was leading a hollow existance of lies and sex.

But then there was Remus...


Lifting my gaze suddenly, I realize Babette had been speaking to me and I had been lost in my own thoughts. With my cheeks burning, I manage a small smile. "I'm sorry, Babette. I think the long day has finally gotten to me."

She stares for a moment, her eyes contemplative, before she nods and snaps her fingers. Moments later Pierre enters the room and she continues to watch me as she speaks. "Escort Ms. Bertrand home, Pierre. Make sure a hot bath is drawn and an adequate meal is waiting for on the table before you leave her. Understand?"

I look over to Pierre and see his lips twitch slightly. "Of course, Babette." He reaches out and I let him take my hand as he helps me from the chair.

We begin to walk toward the door when Babette calls my name. I turn and watch as she sips her wine again, still staring seemingly into space.

"I wish to thank you for everything you have done for me over the years. I will compensate you very, very soon." Her lips curve into a small smile as she turns to look at me. "I believe you will find it very rewarding."

"Thank you, Babette." I dip my head forward quickly in a small curtsey before Pierre leads me from the room again. He says nothing as he takes me home and I am thankful. I want to answer no questions about my time at Hogwarts. All I want to do is think of Remus and the time we spent together. Even if I would never be able to see him again, I had those memories.

We arrive at my flat, and I remain silent, my weariness from the day overtaking me. I still say nothing when Pierre strips the clothes from my body in my bathroom as the water runs steaming into the large bath in my flat. I don't move as his smooth hands run over my body and when he bends me forward over the basin, I close my eyes and bite my lip painfully when he pushes into me. My fingers curl around the marble and I taste blood drip onto my tongue from where I have bitten into my lip. I feel as if I've returned to an life I had forgotten about. One that was vacant and meaningless. I thought of Remus, his arms around me, his scent and taste. I bend my head forward as my body accepts the continuing intrusions and I struggle to remember, even as I fight to forget.

Tea with Babette [May 23, 2006 @ 12:16pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I feel I have lost sight of my purpose here at Hogwarts since I became "involved" with Remus Lupin. Babette had sent me to the castle to keep a guarded watch on her daughter and I fear I have been failing as Remus has distracted me from my duties. He's been an intriguing challenge to me and has made no attempt to hide both his desire and loathing of me. I think he's jealous of my relationship with Roger, but then a man like Remus would be territorial, given his circumstances. I didn't mind the jealousy or anger he felt, it made him a more forceful lover which meant our confrontations were much more pleasurable.

Even now, sitting with Babette in this quaint tea shop during my break from the school, I am distracted by thoughts of the Hogwarts Professor. My mentor sits across from me, delicately sipping from the fine china as I wait obediently for her to speak.

"My daughter," Babette finally begins, setting the tea cup on the matching saucer. "I presume she is still doing well in her studies?"

"She's very nearly finished," I reply, wrapping my icy fingers around the warm tea cup in front of me. "From what I understand, her teachers are pleased with her progress. She will be taking her NEWTs the second week of June."

"And Weasley?"

"I have been told by that he'll be taking his NEWTs as well. He and his brother both."

Babette's lips curl in disgust. "I had hoped my daughter would have come to her senses by now. I do not care if she finishes her studies. In fact, I prefer that she did, but Gabrielle is much too superior in her social status to mingle in that filthy castle. Weasley has been nothing but a damnable influence on her."

It's none of my business, and not my place to voice my opinion on Gabrielle's growth as a young woman, so I remain silent, allowing Babette to fume. She doesn't dissappoint, and groans as she rests her fingertips against her forehead and shakes her head.

"May the Elders help me. She will be sullied and impregnanted by that fool before she has any chance to make something of herself."

I lower my gaze to my tea cup, wishing I could point out that Babette would be ecstatic to learn Gabrielle was pregnant if the father had been Nicholas Coza.

"Celeste, may I ask you a personal question?"

Surprise, I lift my gaze swiftly to hers. "Of course."

"You are a pure Veela, one who has taken her vows." When I nod, she continues, her voice lowering. "Did you see your mate?"

Confusion settles in at her question and I frown. "My mate?"

"The man you encountered in your vision. Did you see his face?"

I stare at her for a few moments as I try to remember my vows. I took them when I was sixteen, and though Babette accompanied me, I had no true mother to guide me. The vows meant next to nothing to me, all they meant was I was now a woman. Two months later Babette gave my virginity as a gift to Alexander Coza as a way to strengthen the bond between their two clans. Since then, I hadn't thought once of the man I encountered in my vision, nor of what my future supposedly held. My future was whatever Babette decided for me.

"Celeste?" Babette prompts and I blink, realizing she was still awaiting my answer.

"I didn't see his face," I reply. "He was more of a shadow with no true shape."

Babette leans back in her chair, a look of relieved smugness on her delicate face. Her nails tap slowly against the tabletop. "I thought so."

"If you don't mind my asking..."

She waves her hand and responds in a dismissive tone. "Gabrielle claims she saw Weasley in her vision when she took her vows."

My eyes widen in surprise. "But no Veela has seen the man who is destined for them."

"Precisely. I believe she was trying to fool me into believing Weasley was her soul mate when it's quite clear he is not." Babette sighs. "Nothing but lies. It is as if I no longer recognize my own flesh and blood. She's become more intolerable than Fleur. If not for Aveline, I think I might go mad."

Silent again, I wait as Babette finishes her tea, the rest of our conversation idle. I've never been considered one of Babette's "daughters" though I have been under her care since I was an infant. I was her servant, her bartering tool. She gave me a home and food to eat and I knew if it were not for Babette, I would be dead. But I could never help but wonder why she never looked upon me with a mother's love the way she has her own daughters, or Aveline Rousseau.

When we finish our tea, we stand and walk outside as I prepare to return to Hogwarts. Babette turns to me, her expression and voice distant. "The school term is coming to an end. I expect you to return promptly to Faerie Ridge when the students have left the school."

"Of course."

She finally looks at me in the eyes, the harsh lines around her mouth softening. "You will be appropriately rewarded, Celeste, for your loyalty to my family."

I cast my eyes down obediently. "Of course."

She pats my cheek softly and turns in the opposite direction, her expensive robes seemingly floating about her feet. I walk through Hogsmeade and return many minutes later to the castle as lunch ends and the students pile into the halls. Weary after my talk with Babette, I begin the trek back to the hospital wing. I notice Remus speaking with another Professor and when our eyes meet, I look away quickly and pass him without a word. I was simply too tired to deal with both his condescending looks, and the fire inside of my belly whenever I see him.

When I return to the hospital wing, I tie on the apron over my robes and brush my hair back from my face as I begin to wash the towels Pomfrey left for me. Only a few more weeks and I would return to Faerie Ridge and my life before Hogwarts - before Remus Lupin.

I am not prepared for how unsettling the thought makes me.

"Bête d'Esprit's" NC 17 May 12 [May 12, 2006 @ 5:25pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

"Oh thank Morgana that it is May," Pomfrey lamented, waving her hand over her face to fan herself as she moved about the hospital wing, stripping the beds of their sheets. "Only a few more weeks and the children will be gone."

I smirk, folding clean towels as I watch her. "I thought you liked the children."

Pomfrey straightens quickly, her eyes not quite meeting mine as she laughs nervously. "Oh, oh my, yes I do quite like the children. I only meant that the summer would be upon us."

"Do you live here during the summer?" I ask her, placing the newly folded towels into the cabinet beneath the basin before I run over the damp nape of my neck. The weather was not yet warm enough to be considered summer, yet the sun beating in from the large windows did nothing to help the heat in the room. And Goddess help me, neither did these starchy white robes. Pomfrey's cooling charms were at least keeping the wing tolerable. I straighten and watsh my hands in the basin before turning to watch her large white mediwitch hat flounce with her movements as she crosses to the next row of empty beds.

"I live in a cottage outside of Hogsmeade. Far enough away that I am able to enjoy my holiday away from the castle, but close enough in case Minerva would need me. Richard wants to buy a villa in France but I am not yet ready for retirement."

"Richard." I lift an eyebrow and smile again, moving to help her pull the pillow cases off. "You're married?"

Pomfrey blushes, obviously flustered. "Oh my, I apologize. We're not to discuss personal relations within the castle--"

"Why not?"

"Security," she answers simply then lowers her voice as she turns to the next bed. "Richard and I have been married forty four years, right out of Hogwarts. He tends to the house while I am here."

I didn't know why, but discovering Pomfrey was married surprised me. She had told me of Professor Lupin's former love, and of course the Professors within the castle were allowed to have their own, private lives. I could even understand the urge not to discuss them, given what happened several years ago during the second ward, and how Headmaster Dumbledore died. Hogwarts was not as safe as everyone had once thought.

"That's quite lovely," I tell her and we finish our work in silence, my mind racing. It was past sunset and the children were gathered in the Great Hall for supper by the time I left the hospital wing. I had watched Gabrielle walk to her redhead Weasley after her hours were up and once they disappeared from view, I made my way to Lupin's office where I knew he would be eating alone. The scent of beef and potatos filled my senses and I walked into his classroom, lifting my gaze to his door atop the short, winding stone steps. I lifted my skirts, not bothering to knock as the door was already open. He wasn't eating, rather his food sat untouched on a plate on his desk. He was reading the Evening Prophet, his weathered face grim in concentration. When he looks up, I smile and pull a vial out of my apron pocket.

"What is that?" he asks and I set it in front of him.

"Madam Pomfrey asked me to give it to you. It's to help with whatever pain you may have left from your injury last week."

"I feel quite fine. Please tell Madam Pomfrey thank you for me." He returns to the paper in his hands and I stand there, waiting for him to once more pay attention to me. He doesn't dissappoint and when he looks up again, it is with a look of subtle annoyance. "Yes, Madam Bertrand?"

I ignore him and turn to wander his office. I examine the jars lining the shelves, the skulls, the various insect parts. I wrinkle my nose and am thankful I have no desire to learn about the Dark Arts, or even the Defense of them. His office was quite drab, and dreary. He was lucky to have that oval shaped window to let some light in. I note the small glass vial, hidden behind a few dusty jars. I reach up and pull it out, lifting it up to the candlelight as I examine the sharp tooth inside.

"A tooth belonging to a bête d'esprit?" I ask him, still examining the tooth. Remus is silent for a moment before he stands from his desk and walks to me. He seems surprised that I am aware of what the tooth belongs to.

"So they claim. Gilderoy Lockhart brought that tooth in with him when he took this position many, many years ago."

"Before he went mad?"

"Yes." Remus's smile is small. "He claimed it was from a bête d'esprit, a spirit beast, and that he killed the beast before claiming it's tooth as proof. However, bête d'esprits are myth, or so the Ministry claims."

"The English Ministry would. In France, spirit beasts are legend." Spirit Beasts were werewolves who had a deep spiritual connection with Mother Earth, and were able to travel into various spiritual planes and time periods as protectors. They were non-violent creatures, unlike common werewolves today. "The last was said to have been killed off during the wars and the Ministry does not consider them myth, rather extinct. This is indeed a bête d'esprit's tooth, as you can tell by the angled curve, but I highly doubt Lockhart was the man to kill the beast. He is too weak a man. He probably bought it from a gypsy in Romania."

Remus stares at me as I replace the vial on his shelf. "You have been avoiding me," I continue, forgetting the tooth as I turn back to him.

"I've been quite busy with the end of term approaching."

I smile and place my palms on his chest, running them down to his belt. His hands grip my wrists quickly. When I look up, he is studying me, his jaw tight and his eyes piercing me. "What happened between us was a mistake. I am well aware of that, as I think you are."

"You enjoyed every moment of it," I reply huskily and shake his hands off of my wrists.

He doesn't deny my statement, instead he steps back. "It can't happen, Celeste. Minerva trusts me, and this school is all I have. I'm not going to risk losing my job for a meaningless dalliance."

"You've already done that. Twice." I move toward him, past him until I shut his office door. His eyes flicker to the door before they settle on me as I reach him again and run my hand down his trousers to where I can feel him already becoming hard. "Or if you count Glenda, three times, yes?"

"Celeste," he growls, his fingers digging into my forearms. "Stop."

"You want me to stop?" I ask him, a hint of amusement dancing in my tone as I deftly unbutton his trousers and pull his cock from the confines of the material. I stroke him quickly, hear his sharp intake of breath and then he is upon mine, forcing my lips to part as his tongue delves deep into my mouth. I moan in triumph, wrapping my arms around his neck as his hands grip my waist and lift me. My back hits the aging wall and I wince at the slight pain. My fingers rake through his hair and I sigh happily when Remus tears his mouth from mine and bunches my skirts up around my waist. He looks up at me and I am smug to see the arousal clouding his features. We watch each other, panting as he reaches between us, shifting until he is finally inside of me, thrusting and pushing until I sink completely down upon him.

I grab his shoulders with my hands and begin to raise and lower myself on his cock, my breath uneven as I pull him closer, tightening my legs around him. Remus clenches his jaw, groans deep within his throat before he growls and attacks my mouth again. His hands hold my thighs apart, his hips pistoning up and against me. I tilt my neck to the side, my eyes closing with pleasure when his mouth settles upon the skin, his teeth nipping, his tongue licking at my flesh. When my eyes open, heavy now, I see the moonlight outside and wonder how he intense he would be as my lover closer to the full moon. My creature is the only one who could match him, other than one who was of his breed. And Chittock was not of his breed...she was a weak, common witch...she would sob at his savage thrusts, but I revel in them, encourage them...

My fingers wrap around the strands of his chestnut hair and I jerk his head back, hearing him hiss again. I crush my lips to his and squeeze his cock inside of me as my orgasm hits me. It floods me, leaving me both breathless and laughing with the intensity of it. Remus holds me with one arm, his other bracing against the wall next to my head. He closes his eyes, his face buried against my neck as he plunges up into me again and again....

When he climaxes, I hear the soft snarl, the the pain and the pleasure that flows from him. His breath is hot against my neck and when he shifts, I purr in contentment. I don't, however, vocalize my dissappointment when he pulls away from me and sets me on the ground. He turns quickly, adjusting his trousers. A bit weak in the knees, I take a moment to gather myself before I walk to his desk. I place a warming charm on his dinner plate to reheat the colding beef before I shoot him a pointed, satisfied look, and slip from his office without another word.

The Loathing.... NC 17 for Sexual Content [May 03, 2006 @ 8:55pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

It had been an interesting week, one that kept me busy both with keeping an eye on Gabrielle, and helping Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing. Gabrielle's Weasley had been through the castle many times and I've learned he is finishing his own NEWTs for which he never had the chance while he was a student. Roger had told me all about the Weasley twins' adventures and infamous departure from the school when Dolores Umbridge was Headmistress.

Babette would not be pleased to learn that Gabrielle was not only bedding a Weasley, but an uneducated one at that.

It didn't help my mood that McGonagall had invited that Chittock woman to the school. I still didn't see the reasoning behind it except to distract the students from their studies from a so-called celebrity. Even Roger couldn't help but blush and stumble over his words in his haste to compliment her abilities when she was in his presence. I saw nothing special in Chittock but then again I had deeper perception than the common witch or wizard, so I couldn't fault the masses for their misjudgment to a woman who was quite simply boring.

Even Remus seemed to have fallen under her false charms. I've seen them around the school several times, walking together and talking about only the Gods knew what. He certainly didn't treat her with the same hostility he has shown me in the past and that irritated me for reasons I couldn't quite explain, nor did I want too.

The woman desired him, that much was obvious and after the other night, I was well aware he desired her as well. Returning to the castle after a dalliance with Roger, I had seen the two of them locked in a passionate embrace in the darkened halls. My first reaction was disgust. How dare he kiss this woman in the school after being so adamant about his damned rules with me. How dare he touch her when he would scold and make condescending remarks regarding my relationship with Roger? He was a hypocrite and a infuriating man. But then that disgust turned into something else, an emotion I wasn't familiar with and it annoyed me enough to push away any desire to confront them.

I avoided Remus since that moment, until only an hour ago when he was brought into the private room off of the hospital wing. It seemed that he had been accidentally hit by one of the students Stunning Spells and both Roger and Madam Pomfrey were beside themselves with worry. After we rid him of most of the painful effects of the spell, I assured Madam Pomfrey I would watch over Remus until he woke and with that she and Roger left me, leaving me alone with the man who I despised and who despised me.

I prepared the proper ointment to help him with the lingering pain when he woke and caught myself staring at him several times, wanting to brush his graying hair from his temple. When he woke, I decided against being cold with him. He was hurting and quite obviously embarrassed at "stumbling" into a simple spell.

It was as I was rubbing the ointment on his chest that I felt the overwhelming desire take over me. I had been well aware of his own passion…after all it was difficult not to see it beneath the sheets of the bed, but the question was…do I act on this craving? This urge to undress myself and straddle his hips while he lay helpless and wanting beneath me? But that woman, that Chittock woman, interrupted whatever boldness I felt and when I allowed her into the room and watched her worry over Remus, I knew the moment had passed.

Now I stood here, outside of the room, wondering if I should stay until Chittock left. But it was the silent click of the lock on the door and the sudden vacancy of noise that had me realizing someone inside had performed a locking charm as well as a silencing charm which meant only one thing…

I returned to my chambers, discarding my mediwitch robes and changing into my nightdress. I pushed open the window of my room to allow the warm air inside and I watched the fog roll over the Forbidden Forest as I braided my hair. The candle in the room flickered, but refused to be snuffed out by the spring breeze and I felt my body shiver, though there was no chill.

And now I sat here, on the edge of my narrow bed. I wasn't sure how to separate my emotions. I was angry that Remus would so blatantly break "school rules", but I supposed all it really took was the right woman to bring out those tempting desires within a man. The right woman could make any man throw caution to the wind, I knew that better than anyone.

He certainly threw away all he had worked for to lay with me, to touch me. He lost everything and I left him when my job was done. I could twist any man, break them if I so chose. All but Remus.

The knock startled me, but I jumped quickly and hurried to the door, my breath caught in my breath as I prepared myself. Licking my lips, I opened the door and fought the first wave of disappointment as Roger stood there, a tiny grin on his face.

"How is Remus?"

"Roger," I whispered heatedly, "you shouldn't be here. If anyone saw you…"

He edged his way in and shut the door, taking my hand in his as he pulled me close. "No one saw me, Celeste. I wanted to see how the Professor was doing."

I lift an eyebrow in disbelief. "You couldn't have waited until tomorrow?"

"No," he replied, grinning again as he lowered his mouth to mine. I kissed him, sighing inwardly as he laid me back on the bed and pulled off my nightdress. I arched as his hands roamed my breasts, and felt amusement, knowing perfectly well that Professor Lupin was the last thing on Roger's mind right now. But when he slipped into me and began to thrust, I was annoyed to admit that I couldn't claim the same thing.

Animals [April 18, 2006 @ 12:51pm]
[ mood | guilty ]

Ever mindful of my mission, I watch Gabrielle from the opened doors of the Great Hall as she sits and laughs happily with her young girlfriend, Margaret, or Mable, or something to that nature. I can already tell she is going to be like her mother. Ambitious, intelligent...perhaps not as dangerous. But then again, many things can happen in a young woman's life to push her toward the shadows. I've been keeping Babette updated with Gabrielle's progress in school. She seems to have drifted from the handsome young man pursuing her...blinded by her Weasley I am guessing.

I study Gabrielle, her carefree giggles and her colorful aura. Despite her falling out with her mother, she seems happy.

"Madam Bertrand, may I have a word?"

I stiffen slightly at the cultured voice behind me and almost immediately I remember that same voice whispering Dora as we nearly kissed. My ego, though I am loathe to admit it, is still bruised. Resisting the urge to scowl, I turn to find Remus Lupin watching me. He looks much healthier than he did a few days ago, but his eyes hold an almost morbid curiosity as they study me. I wonder if he has realized his error in calling me by his former lover's name during our encounter but even so, I don't think I am ready to forgive him.

But I do not want to cause a scene, so I decide to let him speak with me. With a nod of my head, I follow him down the hall while the students clear out to head to their next class. Soon we are alone near an open window and I clasp my hands together in front of my robes, anticipating his words.

Remus glances out the window, blinking against the sunlight before he speaks. "It has been a few days since we last spoke and I must admit, there has been a few things on my mind since the full."

I say nothing but lift an eyebrow in acknowledgment and he continues. "You came into the dungeons, watched me change. I would like to know why."

Confused, I stare until my anger begins to build. The Veela inside claws her way to the surface but I resist that fury and instead drop my hands to my sides. "Why?"

He clasps his hands behind his back and peers toward the window again. "There was no purpose for you to be there. I wonder if perhaps you had an ulterior motive."

Gritting my teeth, I realize this is no apology. This is Saint Lupin questioning my motive. I am a Healer, a woman who does not like to see men in pain...physical pain as it is. I wanted to see how his change affected him, compared to others. I wanted to make sure he would not bring harm upon himself. I slept on his clothes, on the floor for most of the night and he dare question my motives? And then, and then he tries to seduce me, to call me by his former lover's name when I had decided to allow him to touch me.

Temper raging inside of me, I shake my head, my hair falling behind my shoulders as I fight to keep my cool demeanor on the surface. "I had no ulterior motive for watching you change, Professor. It was my own curiosity that brought me down to the dungeons."

Remus pauses, his lips pursed as he tenses. "Curiosity."

"I've never seen a werewolf transformation before," I lie, lifting my chin defiantly. "I wanted to see it."

The emotion in his eyes is unrecognizable, but I know it's not pleasure or happiness. He is furious with me now, offended by my words. I knew he would be, at the moment, I didn't care. He offended me, but does he apologize? No. He is a man who believes he deserves my sympathy, but he won't get it.

"Contrary to what you may believe, Madam Bertrand, I am not a freak show for you to amuse yourself with." His tone borders on fury but I don't flinch, instead I keep his gaze, challenging him. "People who carry my affliction are human beings not to be watched behind bars like they're wild animal."

"That is what you are," I snap. "One night of the month. You are an animal. It is your choice to be behind those bars, and my choice to be on the other side." Our voices grow in volume and Remus begins to retort when a few students hurry down the hall to class. He remains silent until they are out of earshot before his eyes refocus on me. His fury seems to have dulled into cool indifference.

"There are children in my position, women younger than yourself...older. They do not deserve to be considered caged beasts, to be watched in their most vulnerable moments as if they were in a zoo. Perhaps you should rethink your path, your choice of employment, if you continue to look upon my world with veiled eyes." He turns swiftly and walks away from me, his steps echoing softly in the hall.

When he's gone, I turn and stare out the window. Down below is Roger with his class. He seems to sense my gaze because he peers up and sees me, his smile quick and comforting. I lift my hand in a small wave before turning away from the window and walking back toward the hospital wing. My heart twinges more than I would care to admit.

The Other Woman (Rated R) [April 14, 2006 @ 1:19pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

The students were gathered in the Great Hall by the time I headed to Professor Lupin's chambers. I knew he had been moved early by Slughorn, before sunset and that he slept most of the morning. He would still feel ill, drained and weak after his ordeal. It was always morbidly fascinating, watching a man change into the beast. His humanity slipping away until all that is left is a creature who bares his teeth and would tear you to shreds if not for the bars separating you. But Remus had been docile, curling his strong body and falling asleep without another growl.

I stood now outside of his door, knocking softly and waiting for a response. When silence greeted me, I pushed open the door to peer inside. Remus lay in his bed, the sheets tangled around his body. He was breathing softly, his forehead sheened with perspiration. Stepping cautiously inside, I crossed the room and set the tray of soup and bread on the table next to his bed.

Before I could pull away, a strong hand wrapped around my wrist and startled me. Eyes wide, I looked down to see him staring up at me, his eyes clouded, his brows furrowed in confusion. A flood of emotions swamped me, irritation, sympathy and desire. My body yearned for something I didn't quite understand and I remembered his harsh words last night in the dungeons. He wanted me...my body at least. It wasn't surprising, given that I was a Veela, and that was heightened by the lustful, animal cravings he experienced as he changed.

"Remus," I whispered, turning my palm around to grip his.

"What are you doing here?" he groaned, his voice ripe with confusion. I swallowed hard at the pressure of his thumbs pressing into my flesh, but I didn't pull away. Instead I sat on the edge of his bed and leaned over to brush his damp, greying hair from his forehead. He looked disoriented, unsure of his whereabouts.

"I'm here to make sure you're all right," I told him. He moaned deep in his throat before bringing my hand to his lips. He clasped his free hand around our joined fingers and kissed the knuckles softly. I sucked in a breath, overwhelmed by the need to have him. His lips were hot and firm, sliding along my fingers.

"Didn't think you would ever come back," Remus breathed, his eyes still partly closed as he reached up then to touch my cheek. Breathless, I leaned into his touch, unresisting when he curled his fingers around the nape of my neck and pulled me to him. I touched his lips with my fingertips, aroused by the sensation of his breath on my face. He kissed the corner of my lips, drawing forth a small moan from my throat. I turned to kiss him fully on the mouth, to pour my desire into him, but the name he suddenly whispered was not my own.


I pulled away quickly, taking his hand from my neck and placing it on the bed. He reached for me again, but I stood and poured water into his glass from the metal pitcher. I then helped him sit up against the pillows before handing him the glass. "Try to drink this, Remus."

Remus stared at the water for a moment and then he blinked, confusion replaced by recognition as he looked up at me. "Celeste?"

I forced a smile and motioned toward the glass. "Drink, Remus. I brought you lunch when you feel well enough to eat. Is there anything else you need?"

"No," he sighed, running his palm over his face. "How long have I been sleeping?"

"It's nearly one. Madam Pomfrey will be up in awhile to check your bandage and to give you a potion for any lingering pain." I wiped my hands on my apron. "I have to get back to the hospital wing."

He nodded, taking a tentative sip of the water. I reached the door and opened it before he called my name. Pausing, I looked back at him, wondering...

"Thank you," he managed, a small, pained smile curving at his lips. "For being there last night."

"You're welcome. I'm glad it wasn't too painful for you." It was difficult not to stare at his exposed chest, the scars, the broad lines of his shoulders. His body was magnificent and I felt like a voyeur, staring at him this morning before I left the dungeons. His taut buttocks, the strong thighs. He was impressive in every way. The patched robes, the lines in his face, and the tired, weak demeanor he usually exuded was nothing but pretense because underneath his clothing was a man, drained by the beast inside of him, but powerful because of it.

I left Remus, shutting the door carefully behind me. My body still ached to be touched, to be ravaged. Irritated and aroused, I walked out of the castle and breathed in the warm, spring air. I didn't know who this Dora was...perhaps she was the woman Pomfrey told me about. What was her full name? Nymphodora? Nymphamaniac? I couldn't remember and at the moment, I didn't care.

Roger was in his hut, grading papers before his next class. From the smile on his face, and the erection tenting his trousers, he was happy to see me. It only took a moment to unzip his trousers, hike my skirt to my waist and straddle him. I rode him quickly, our lips fused together as he thrusted his hips up, driving into me.

"Celeste," he groaned, his head falling upon the back of his chair.

"Yes," I breathed, raking my hands through his dark hair as I felt his orgasm claw its way to the surface. I wanted to hear my name on his lips again, only my name. I closed my eyes, moaning loudly as I arched back, taking him deeper. His arousal seemed to swell inside of me and as he came, he gripped my back, burying his face between my breasts as he cried out my name again. Celeste.

I shuddered with my own climax, sighing pleasantly as it rippled through me. No man would ever call me by another name. I was not a replacement, a whore to be used. Remus could have his Dora. He could have his memories if they kept him warm at night. I was a Veela, beautiful and strong. Men worshiped me and would continue to worship me. And only me. I would never have it any other way.

Healing [April 10, 2006 @ 1:59pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

"Celeste," Madam Pomfrey begins, touching my arm gently. I turn around after smoothing my palms over the sheets I have placed on the empty bed and watch the skin surrounding the old woman's eyes crinkle with her smile. "I need to speak with the Headmistress. Will you be all right alone?"

My smile is wide while the voice in my head sneers. I am not incompetent you hag.

"Of course, Madam Pomfrey. It's been a quiet afternoon. I'll finish making the beds."

"Thank you, dear." With her robes bustling about her feet, she disappears from the room and I return to placing fresh sheets on the narrow beds. I've been quite busy in the hospital wing the last few days. Inept students hexing one another in the hall ways, enlarged noses, broken fingers, bottoms covered in puss boils. Throughout it all I have been able to keep an eye on Gabrielle for Babette. I reluctantly included the Weasley boy's visit in my letter to Babette yesterday and I am thankful I will not be around to witness her wrath. But Gabrielle is quite popular in these halls, and according to her Professors, quite intelligent. Passing her NEWTs should not be a problem. I only hoped the young girl woke up quickly and recognized the misery she would endure with the redheaded man if she stays with him. She will lose her mother's love and respect forever if she does not.

"Madam Pomfrey."

I straighten and glance over my shoulder to see Professor Lupin enter the room, his hand clutching his other, his lips wincing in slight pain. He sees me and pauses. "Is Poppy not here?"

"Do you see her?" I retort coldly before returning to my task at hand. I plump the pillow and replace it on the bed.

"Very well. I'm in need of assistance."

"She'll return shortly."

"Madam Bertrand." His voice is a huff of exasperation and I roll my eyes before turning away from the cart full of linens and crossing to him. I can smell him...his scent is a mixture of wood and rain and I feel the Veela inside of me react favorably. But it is the metallic scent of blood that edges out my desire and I see the crimson liquid dripping from the gash in his palm, down his wrist to disappear behind the cloth of his robes. I take him by the arm gently and lead him to an empty bed before nudging him.

"Sit." I gather my wand and damp cloth before returning to his side. Kneeling down, I take his palm in my own, shocked when he snatches his hand away. "Professor, please."

"Are you mad? You haven't protected your hands," he snaps and I glance down to see small smears of his blood on my knuckles. I tsk at his apparent distress before I grab his hand again.

My temper lights as quickly as a match and I scowl at his attitude. "I have no open wounds, Professor and if I understand lore correctly, you have to bite me to infect me with your disease. Am I correct?"

He attempts to take his hand from me again but I hold tight, pressing my thumb near his wound to cause him enough pain to ease up on his struggle. He hisses in pain and settles before glowering at me. "Madam Pomfrey never treats me without taking the proper precautions at my insistence."

"I am not Madam Pomfrey," I remind him before taking the damp cloth and wiping away the blood from his hand. "How did you injure yourself?"

He is silent for a moment as I work on cleaning his wound. When I lift my head and implore him with my eyes, he finally speaks. "I was teaching my students about several dangerous hexes and charms that are used in a duel or battle. A student's Severing Charm got away from him."

"I see that," I murmur and when I place the bloodied cloth to the side, I pick up my wand to close the wound. I brush my thumb over his knuckles slowly, gently to ease some of the pain and he is silent as the torn flesh begins to heal. "I have noticed the students have been more ambitious in their use of magic around the castle."

"McGongagall is trying to put a stop to it," Remus explains. "Every spring with the change in weather, the students become anxious. Summer is getting closer. They get bored being inside the castle most of the day. And with the Quidditch Cup around the corner, the competitiveness between the houses grow. Mr. Filch loves this time of year as there are more students in his detentions. The trophy room never sparkles as much as it does the last few days of the school year."

I chuckle softly and continue to work on his hand. "I never attended a school such as this."


"I was tutored," I explain absently. It was true. Babette took me in at a young age, my studies nowhere near completed. When she realized I was fairly competent in healing, it became her focus to draw out and sharpen my skills. She found use in both my body and my mind to further her cause and my own NEWTs never came to pass.

"Did you always want to be a Healer?"

Did I? Probably not but I never knew anything else. "I suppose so, yes," I lie. "Did you always want to be a Professor?"

"As a boy I wanted to be a Quidditch hero," he laughs quietly. "But I came to realize that there was a problem concerning my talent in the game."

I look at him. "Which was?"

He smiles. "I didn't have any."

I can't stop the smile that curves at my lips and I lower my eyes quickly to his palm when his eyes fall to my mouth. "So teaching was your second choice."

"Not necessarily, but given my circumstances, I did not really have the option of choosing my profession. I was, am, quite limited in what I can do. Oh, not for lack of skill, but for the lack of faith my fellow wizards and witches had in me, if they knew of what I was."

Peering into his eyes again I see no bitterness there, no resentment. Only a man who has accepted his fate and his path in life. "But McGongagall gave you a chance."

"Albus Dumbledore gave me a chance," he murmurs quietly, watching my thumb brush over his hand. "He allowed me to teach here many, many years ago. Certain...circumstances led to my resignation, including the impending war with Voldemort. After the war, I didn't believe I would ever teach again but then McGongagall offered me the same position I taught in the past and I was hard pressed to accept. I am thankful to her, and to Albus. The staff in this school have been accepting."

I am surprised he opened up to me so easily and I wonder if and when he will reprimand me again for whatever reason. His moods so easily change, but all I see his calmness in his brown eyes. I feel him relax once his hand is healed and I see disappointment flash briefly in his eyes when I release his hands and stand. "Would you like a potion for the pain?"

"No, thank you."

Nodding, I reach down and grab the cloth to wash it. I pause, my eyes searching his curiously when his fingers wrap around my wrist. "Thank you, Celeste."

My name sounds like honey dripping from his cultured voice and I find I quite like it. It is the first time he has looked at me without disdain, other than when he was telling me of Fenrir. Deciding it would be in poor taste to be rude, I allow a small smile on my lips. "You're quite welcome, Professor."

He stands and releases my hand. I move away quickly, toward the basin and place the cloth inside before turning on the water. "You have a lovely smile."

I look at him, wondering now what he is angling for. "Thank you."

He appears awkward, as if struggling internally with himself over what to do next. I can sense his arousal, as I have been able to before, and I wonder if it were possible to lock the infirmary doors and let him take me on one of these beds.

We watch each other for many moments and as he finally takes a step toward me, we are interrupted by a smooth, baritone. "Celeste."

Remus and I watch as Roger crosses the room toward me, his grin wide and contagious. He nods to Remus. "Professor Lupin."

"Professor Stebbins," Remus replies stiffly. He nods briskly to me before he retreats and walks from the room. I watch him depart before my attention shifts to my lover. He takes my hand and kisses my now washed knuckles.

"I came to see how your day was."

"A bit boring," I reply and trace his lip with my finger. "And yours?"

"The same. I couldn't stop thinking about last night," he tells me, his voice lowering to a secretive whisper, "and how brilliant and beautiful you were."

Knowing the routine well, I allow myself to blush before I slide my palm down his chest. "And you, Roger, were just as wonderful."

"Will you let me take you to dinner this weekend?" he asks, surprising me with the request. We have gone no further than enjoying the sex between us. I have yet to even sleep in his bed overnight and I know I have no intention to do so. Dinner is just as bad...it suggests something much more than physical enjoyment. I realize he is still speaking about a place in Hogsmeade and I lift my finger to his lips to silence him, my seductive instincts pouring out of me.

"I was hoping we could spend the weekend indoors together...alone..." I lean forward and place a small kiss on his chin. "Preferably naked, sweaty, hot...entwined together..."

I smile when I hear his breathing turn shallow and when I pull back to look at him, he swallows hard, his eyes glazed with lust. "Whatever you wish, Celeste."

"Wonderful." I kiss his lips quickly, as not to be caught by Pomfrey and I step away. "Now if you will excuse me, Professor, I must return to my duties."

His cocks an eyebrow, then turns to see Pomfrey entering the hospital wing. She smiles as she spots Roger. "Roger, how wonderful to see you. Are you feeling ill?"

"Er, I was, Poppy, but Madam Bertrand has given me a cure and I'm already feeling quite healthy again." He takes her hand and kisses her knuckles. "A pleasure to see you." Roger leaves, whistling a jaunty tune and I bite my lip to keep from laughing.

"He is such a sweet young man," Pomfrey sighs, stepping up beside me to help me finish washing the dirty towels. "Have you a young man in your life, Celeste?"

"I have many," I tell her, smiling when she blinks. "A woman can never have too many gentleman callers, can she?"

"Oh, well, I am not sure..."

"Professor Stebbins, does he have a young woman?"

"Not that I am aware of. He is very focused, very committed to Hogwarts. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a young lady waiting for him in town." Pomfrey adds soap to the basin as I hand her another batch of towels. "The young girls absolutely adore him."

I acknowledge that with a small hum in my throat. "And what of Professor Lupin?"

"Remus?" Pomfrey glances at me, as if surprised I would ask. "He has been quite alone for many years. A shame. He is a handsome man, a true gentleman."

"I imagine being a werewolf has kept him single," I say, more to myself than to her, but she tsks at my statement.

"Perhaps, but not all women are repulsed by his unfortunate affliction. Why, up until a few years ago, he was quite involved with a vivacious young woman. A romantic, tragic tale," Pomfrey sighs as she flicks her wand and sets the towel to scrub against the washboard.

I pause in my folding of the dried cloths and watch her. "Did she die?"

"Nymphadora? Oh, no, no. But their relationship was probably doomed from the beginning. Nymphadora was only twenty three when they fell in love during the war. She was the second cousin of Remus's best mate, Sirius Black. You do know Sirius Black," Pomfrey asks and she sighs when I nod. Who hadn't heard of Sirius Black? "Well, she and Remus lived quite happily together for sometime, but I fear Remus was unable to commit to her as she wanted him too. He loved her very much."

The tale is interesting and not very surprising. With Remus's mood swings, I am not surprised the young woman left him. The man was intolerable most of the time "That's too bad," I muse, my thoughts already fluttering back to the weekend I'll be spending with Roger. "But I suppose if our misery is at our own doing, we must learn to live with it."

Pomfrey is silent for a moment and I hear her speak as I turn away and carry the towels to the drawers. "Yes, I suppose that's true."

Certain rules are made to be broken... [March 27, 2006 @ 1:45am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Gabrielle Delacour was a model student. I wasn't sure whether or not Babette would appreciate that truth. She was in class on time, she always had her work ready to hand in, and she was blossoming in confidence, raising her hands to answer questions while other students doodled on their parchment, fought drowsiness or passed notes. I was able to watch her, as well as receive reports from her Professors. The men were easy to manipulate into giving me information without raising their suspicions.

Roger Stebbins willingly spoke of Gabrielle, one of his favorite students. Gabrielle's friends were less respectable. The girl, Mary, focused far too much on impressing boys with her hair or makeup, looking quite silly next to Gabrielle's natural beauty. The two boys that followed them, William Mason and Conroy Henley, were less than impressive, although William Mason's romantic interest in Gabrielle may prove beneficial to Babette. He was a Pureblood and came from a wealthy family steeped in tradition, much like the Malfoys, but with less taint to their name. And William was quite a handsome boy...and he has fallen easily under Gabrielle's charm, even though Gabrielle appears too naive to notice the way he follows her about with drool on his shoes and desire in his veins. But she is also too naive to notice the way many boys stare at her.

I filed away these thoughts for the next time I had brunch with Babette. I wondered exactly what she wanted me to do with her daughter. Gabrielle had a pretty basic routine. Classes, being with her friends afterward for several hours, sometimes attending the Quidditch games...and then she walked home, usually alone, to that boy, Fred Weasley's flat above the joke shop. Would Babette be pleased to learn her daughter's lover allows her to wander the streets alone after dark?

Stretching against the feel of ordinary sheets, and briefly yearning for my silk sheets at home, I sit up and search the floor for my clothing. The male groan behind me signals that my movements have woken him. His fingers splay against the small of my back where the smooth over my skin. "You're leaving."

"I must," I inform him, standing and walking naked across the small, cramped area with comfortable ease. "The sun will rise soon and I can't afford for the Headmistress to find me sneaking out of your hut into the castle."

"The sun doesn't rise for another...," he pauses to look at the clock, "...four hours. Why don't you sleep here tonight. I'll wake you up at five."

"Non," I reply, shooting him a small smile. "It is best that I follow the rules as best I can. I have already broken many to be here."

Roger Stebbins lumbers out of the low bed and crosses to me. He cups my face and kisses me, his lips urging mine to part. I obey, allowing him to feel the pleasure of dominance before my hand touches his chest and pushes gently. He moans softly and I smile again before pulling my robes on. My body is weary and pleads for sleep and I want nothing more now than to climb the stairs to my chambers and sleep until morning. But Roger is pouting and I do not want to leave him unsatisfied. I lean into him, kissing him again before running my hand down his chest to cup his arousal.

"Save this for me, mon amour," I whisper. "Sleep well."

I turn and open the door to his hut, inhaling sharply at the chill. Wrapping my robes around me, I walk along the path back to Hogwarts, my hair dancing in the wind. Once inside the castle, I move briskly up the stairs, vacant of tiny bodies, laughter and gossip. The staircase I am on moves, swinging around carefully to the higher levels and as I step off to wander up the winding case to my chambers, I am confronted by a shadow revealing itself from the corridor. I nearly drop my robes, but instead my fingers clutch the material more tightly.

Remus Lupin pauses in front of me, his brow quirking as he notes my touseled hair and robes. "It's quite late, Ms. Bertrand. I wasn't aware you had patrol duty this evening."

"I'm not patroling, Professor."

"Ah." He clasps his hands behind his back and eyes me with that hint of superiority and contempt. "Is everything all right then, madam? You look quite flushed. Perhaps you're falling ill?"

My eyes narrow and I lift my chin haughtily. Who was he, of all people, to judge my actions? "I am feeling quite well, thank you. Goodnight, Professor."

I move by him, aware of the shock I feel when he doesn't move and my body brushes against his. Walking up the stairs, I can sense his gaze on me until I have disappeared from his view. Unnerved, and annoyed, I enter my chambers and shut the door before I undress and slip into my own bed. My body was tired, humming a slightly ordinary tune from a night of slightly ordinary lovemaking with Roger. I yearned for something more now, an ache that deepened as my mind was overwrought with thoughts of a man...a respected gentleman with hidden desires. Desires that would destroy his calm, polite exterior and devulge the beast simmering inside of him.

Licking my lips, I turned onto my side and tugged the sheets up around my body. I remained silent, waiting for the sound of his footsteps approaching, of my door being unlocked. I waited for the scent of arousal and need...

But none of those things ever came and it was not too soon after that I finally gave into sleep and my dreams.

My New Assignment [March 21, 2006 @ 10:43am]
The castle was ripe with the stench of children.

They came in all ages, shapes and sizes as well as different heritages, but they all shared one thing in common and that was their ability to annoy me. But I had promised Babette I would not fail her in keeping an eye on precious Gabrielle, and it was in my blood to please the woman who had cared for me and taught me the proper ways of the Veela. I had just returned from Theodore Nott's side when she informed me of her decision to send me to Hogwarts. My body was still recovering from Nott's use but with my seduction of his mind complete, I was capable and ready to do as she asked.

And so here I was, being led to my small quarters by Madam Pomfrey, the school's matron. My trunk had already been brought up by that ragged man, Filch I believe his name was, and I was eager to be done with this woman and left alone. Pomfrey smiled at me, her wrinkled hands clasped in front of her bosom as her gaze swept over me. "I am sure you will find Hogwarts to your liking. Dinner convenes in the Great Hall at seven o'clock and you are free to sit at the professor's table, or in your room, whichever suits your mood, although I do hope you will join us."

"Of course I will," I replied with a bright smile as I entered the room and walked about, observing the tiny wardrobe and low shelving. The small flat that Babette had set me up in near Faerie Ridge was not extravagant, but it was a private mansion compared to this box. I traced my finger over one of the shelves and was relieved to find no dust. "I look forward to meeting the rest of the staff, as well as the students. Thank you, Madam Pomfrey, for the tour."

"Considering the amount of time we will be spending together, please call me Poppy. Unless the students are around, of course."

I nod once and watch as Pomfrey smoothed her palms over the plaid comforter of my bed. She fluffed the pillows and gave me another welcoming smile before she disappeared from my room. The wooden door shut quietly and my smile faded as I turned and pushed at the tiny window. It didn't budge until I gritted my teeth and heaved again, causing the lock to snap loudly. The window opened and a cold draft seeped into the room almost immediately. I breathed in the fresh air before finding my wand. "Lumos." The candles on the small, wooden desk lit one by one and I turned to finally begin the process of unpacking the belongings I had brought with me.

I met Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing an hour later as she fitted me for my matron robes. I disliked white, although many Veelas adorned the color because of it's symbolism of "purity". But the Goddesses knew I was anything but pure. Still I kept my arms raised as Pomfrey tied the blue apron against my robes and smoothed the material down, "How does that fit, dear?"

"Wonderfully, thank you." I resisted the urge to scratch at the offending material as it irritated my hips, and instead followed her to the medicine and potions counter top as she showed me where everything was. As she spoke I was busy remembering where the Ravenclaw common room was. I needed to get a hold of Gabrielle's schedule so I could keep the proper eye on her.

"Poppy, Ms. Bertrand."

We both turned to see the Headmistress enter the room, her smile tight as she nodded briskly toward me. "I do hope you are getting settled, Ms. Bertrand?"

"Yes, thank you, Headmistress."

"Good." Her smile seemed pinched and she clasped her hands tightly together. "Will you follow me, please?"

I thanked Pomfrey for her help before following McGonagall out of the wing and down the hall. "I would like to introduce you to the children tonight in the Great Hall during dinner, however I feel it best that you become acquainted with our Professors beforehand."

I agreed and then sighed inwardly. The last thing I wanted right now was to be stuck inside of this castle babysitting Babette's daughter, but it was not my place to complain and I would be struck down immediately by Babette if I did.

As we stopped in various classrooms, and I shook various hands, I kept my eyes open for any sign of Gabrielle. I smiled charmingly, accepted compliments with feigned modesty and bit back on my yawns of boredom.

The Professor of Magical Creatures, Professor Roger Stebbins, was the only one so far to gain any of my sincere interest. He was handsome man, younger than I am I think. His eyes told me he was probably almost thirty, like myself, but still immature in several ways. However, the green orbs sparkled as McGonagall introduced us and predictably, he lifted my hand until his lips brushed my knuckles. "A pleasure to meet you, Madam Bertrand."

"Likewise," I replied, studying him closely as McGonagall spoke. I could read his aura fairly well and I already knew if I wished to seduce him for my own gain, I could. However, how Professor Stebbins stood to aide me in my quest here, I didn't quite know yet, but the possibility was there. I allowed my eyes to linger on him as McGonagall led me from the room, and with a small curve of my lips, his cheeks flushed and I tried not to laugh at the simplicity of men.

As we moved into another classroom, I waited with McGonagall as another Professor discussed an assignment with a student. McGonagall waited patiently and my eyes drifted around the room, taking in the jars of bats, skulls and other assorted horrid looking creatures. My nose wrinkled in disgust and I could see why Babette wanted to keep an eye on her daughter. Gabrielle was certainly above all of this. Commoner Professors, dirty classrooms...

I am brought back from my thoughts as the student thanked the Professor and hurried from the room to catch up with his friends. The Professor looked up then and walked toward us, his hands still carrying the parchment. He was very handsome, but older than me, that I could tell immediately. The gray streaks in his chestnut hair were the obvious give away, but it was his dark eyes, as tired as they may be, that told me that the gray falsely hinted at advanced years. He was at least forty, perhaps forty one. And his skin bore small scars that he didn't bother to try and hide. They intrigued me, and I wondered what beast was responsible for them. His smile now was tight, distracted, but pleasant.

"Ms. Bertrand, this is Professor Remus Lupin, the Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Lupin, Celeste Bertrand, our new Matron assistant."

We exchanged pleasantries and I tried to catch Lupin's eyes with my own to decide whether or not he would be beneficial to me in any way. Irritation grew inside of me when he briefly glanced at me and refocused on McGonagall. I expected a stronger response from the man, but he seemed to find the old bat was saying more interesting than myself. Within moments the man, Lupin, nods at me.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Madam Bertrand, but if you will excuse me, I must prepare for my next class."

Homme grossier, impatient, idiot!

The smile that came to my face was forced, but I bowed my head slightly in a curtsy and followed McGonagall from the room. "We have very strict rules here," McGonagall continued. "Of course you know there is no fraternizing with our students."

"Oui, that much would be obvious to me," I told her.

"I also strongly forbid intimate relations on school grounds, between students, or faculty."

I lifted an eyebrow curiously and resisted the urge to point out that I had yet to see an attractive female Professor in the castle, but then again, perhaps that was what she meant by no fraternizing with the students. Or perhaps she was simply directed the rule upon me because of my obvious beauty.

"I understand, Headmistress."

"Good." Her tone was short and we paused outside of the hospital wing. "I think you will enjoy your time here with us at Hogwarts. If you have any concerns, please feel free to come to me."

As polite as always, I nodded and thanked her with a wam smile until she walked away. It is then I rolled my eyes and re-entered the hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey was placing a towel over a bloodied nose of an older student. The boy turned, saw me and dropped the bandage in his lap as he grinned ridiculously at me, blood seeping down over his lips. Pomfrey tsks loudly and pushes the boy back against the pillows, shoving the towel over his nose again.

"Madam Bertrand, would you kindly heal Mr. Sullivan's broken nose? It seems he and a Hufflepuff seventh year got into quite a tussle before class."

My gaze shifted back to the boy who was watching me hopefully behind the crimson colored towel. I didn't want to get blood on my hands, or my new robes, but it was bound to happen eventually. I sighed softly and crossed to the boy, feeling him tremble happily when my hands covered his as I took the towel from his face. Babette would hopefully recognize the sacrifice I was making for her and reward me properly this time. With that thought in mind, I set about fixing the beaming boy's nose.

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